Who is Nico?
Direct yet gentle
About me
I am Nico: a warm and devoted father, a curious explorer of life and an adventurer with a great deal of life energy. People experience me as both direct and gentle, playful and a little unconventional. I listen not only to what you tell me, but also to what can be felt beneath your words. Today, I allow myself to feel, create and live fully. For a long time, however, things were very different.
“He’ll manage on his own”
I grew up with a down-to-earth mentality: stop talking and get on with it. Emotions were there, of course, but I barely understood what they meant or how to deal with them.
“He’ll manage on his own” was something I often heard as a young boy. As a result, I learned to keep going, work hard and carry everything by myself. That mentality gave me the determination to earn my own money from an early age and eventually complete a bachelor’s degree in chemistry.
While working in Research & Development within the chemical industry, I naturally became someone many colleagues confided in. I listened, asked deeper questions and lovingly offered support whenever someone had lost their sense of direction. The irony was that I could often support others well, while I still had no idea how to offer that same love and attention to myself.
Behind the mask that showed the world everything was fine, I spent years fighting against life. I barely felt connected to myself, did not understand life and sensed that something essential was missing—something I could not grasp. There were moments when I no longer wanted to carry on living. At the same time, I became entangled in different forms of addiction and numbing.
Yet there was someone who saw through my mask. With her support, my journey through the waves of my own life began.
My greatest exploration began within
At the age of 26, I began to truly meet my emotions. Through both conventional and holistic forms of therapy, I learned to recognise my patterns, feel and acknowledge my emotions and discover my boundaries. I gradually began to understand how often I abandoned myself in search of love, safety and validation from someone else. That process was confronting. Many times, I resisted it with everything I had. Still, I continued to face it.
Even after all that inner work, the belief that I was not good enough remained deeply rooted within me. There was always something that needed to be solved, addressed or improved. Within my relationship, I therefore took on a great deal of responsibility and blame. Conversations could quickly feel like battles to me, and slowly I lost myself more and more.
Eventually, I came face to face with one of my most painful patterns:
Needing someone else to nourish me with their love.
I learned that I was allowed to choose myself. That meant finding the courage to release what I thought I needed, face my loneliness fully and learn to stand increasingly firmly on my own two feet.
For myself and for my son.
De vader die ik wilde zijn. Door mijn huwelijk los te laten, kwam er langzaam weer ruimte en energie vrij. Ik pakte de dingen op waarvan ik hield en begon mijzelf opnieuw te ontdekken. Het belangrijkste was dat mijn zoontje zijn vader terugkreeg. Niet een vader die voortdurend zijn best moest doen om aanwezig te zijn, maar een vader die er werkelijk wás. Samen op pad, samen creëren, koken, stoeien en de wereld ontdekken. Het vaderschap is voor mij een van de meest liefdevolle én confronterende reizen van mijn leven. Ik wil mijn zoon niet vertellen wie hij hoort te worden. Ik wil naast hem lopen terwijl hij ontdekt wie hij al is.
Love, freedom and honesty
In my personal life, I also discovered that the relationship structure I had followed for many years did not fully suit me. Today, I live polyamorously. To me, love is not necessarily limited to one person.
That does not mean relationships built around freedom are always light or easy. They can bring jealousy, attachment, boundaries and old patterns to the surface. Freedom does not mean simply doing whatever you feel like doing. To me, freedom requires honesty, responsibility and a willingness to truly look at yourself.
My way of living is not an example anyone needs to follow. It is, however, part of my experience with love, autonomy, communication, emotional triggers and the courage to be seen.
From chemist to guide
Alongside my training in Reiki, bodywork and breath coaching, I continue to receive therapy myself. Not because I believe I am still not good enough, but because I have experienced how valuable it is to keep getting to know yourself on a deeper level.
In 2026, I was faced with the choice to devote myself fully to Tsuname. No longer as something I did alongside my work in chemistry, but as the path I genuinely wanted to choose.
Since then, I have had the privilege of guiding various men and women towards deeper layers within themselves. My past no longer determines who I am, but it does help me recognise what someone may be carefully hiding.
I know the tendency to carry everything alone, to search for love outside yourself and to hide what longs for attention behind a strong mask. Drawing from both my professional training and lived experience, I guide people towards the layers they may not yet be able to see fully on their own.
Tsuname — The sun in me
Tsuname emerged from the waves I learned to carry in my own life. Not because those waves disappeared, but because I learned to rediscover the sun within myself whenever they arose.
It is from that same place that I meet you: direct yet gentle, without judgement and without pretending that I stand above your process.
You do not have to understand everything before coming to me.
You no longer have to carry it all alone.
We begin with what is here right now.
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